August 30th, 2005

My Baby's Back

Rome Girl finally got back this afternoon and it was so fucking sweet to see her after a week that I can not even begin to describe it. She fucking rocks my world.

During her trip she got a bad sunburn. It's sort of cute though. When she's naked it looks like she is wearing an anti-bathing suit. Imagine a pink body and then giant bursts of white where a swimsuit should be.

My crazy mom and crazy designer started working on paginating and laying out the book today. Not quite the disaster I expected, but she's never done this before and is unintentionally sabatoging the process, and then getting frustrated. For example, when my designer logged in this morning he had 27 emails from her - some contradicting each other. So far he's responding with British reserve and there have been no fireworks, but who the fuck knows what will happen when deadline gets closer. It usually takes several weeks to layout a book and in this case he has about three days, so stress will happen.

My designer and my mom are both getting paid for this, while I'm doing it just for "good son" points so my patience may soon run thin.

My Thailand essay was a success and I got hired to do two grand of work for the site. The rest of the site should be fun - essentially a guide to the best beaches, bars and clubs to get laid in in Thailand.

I can't wait to start writing puns playing on "Bangcok." It's like a dirty writers dream city to write about sex in. It's also nice to know I'll make two grand in the next few weeks. Good news for the local bars and sex shops.

It's somewhat ironic that my gay globetroting porn client is easier to deal with this week than my designer and mother - both of whom are very well respected professionals in their industries.

Rome Girl says its weird that I use my own name on this blog and not some stage name.

I guess I'm just an exhibitionist. Anyway, the username "Monster_Cock" was already taken.

Burning Man

So, two desperate lovers who have not seen each other for a week reunite.

He kisses her with passion both up top and on her lower lips.

As will happen, she gets bent over a beige 80s style couch in a chic basement apartment in Brooklyn. He takes her from behind, roughly, with just a bit of generic foot lotion as lube.

"Yeah, baby I fucking missed you, you like my cock?"

Random moans followed by the sharp sound of a hand smacking a cute female ass.

"Yeah, you missed my fucking cock this week, didn't you?"

More random moans that he assumes indicate pleasure.

"Doesn't it feel good?"

"No!" she screams. "It hurts! It really hurts!"

Sunburn is a bitch.

Imagine two people, in love, wanting to join with every atom of their bodies, being undone by the fact that if the girl is badly sunburned there is no position possible where the act of love can be completed if you like your lover enough not to hurt her.

You feel guilty even as you look at her beautiful breasts and stroke yourself to completion.

It's loss and love all tied up in one moment as you climax.

Back to the real world.

My dad, my uncle, my sweedish cousin and Rome Girl took me to Blue Man Group tonight. In general, I hate mimes, but I like these guys. Perhaps all mimes should be covered in blue paint and pull out boom boxes playing the Sex Pistols.

My dad took his relatives shopping before we met up and he bought me an American Psycho Patrick Bateman Action Figure (complete with axe, gun, knife and severed hand) which may be the most awesome thing anyone has ever bought me.

Life is good, even if my lover feels burned.

Bart