?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous 10

Dec. 8th, 2018

Red Dead Redemption 2 - Review

I have now put at least 90 hours into playing Red Dead Redemption 2. And probably a lot more hours than that.

And I love it.

But what I love about it won't be what you love about it. Because that's the nature of the game. It can be anything you want it to be.

I never hunted.

I never bought anything in the shops other than scopes for my rifles. (I could pick up other stuff just naturally.)

I mostly hated shooting. I mean the shooting system belongs on a Nitendo 64 it's so crappy.

But man, walking around as Arthur or John and talking to people was awesome.

I loved playing poker and blackjack.

I loved exploring every stranger quest.

I liked helping that guy take pictures.

I even loved helping that guy out with his weirdo zoo.

And the doomed painter. And the guy who was trying to make remote controlled battle ships.

And holy jesus fuck the tall guy and the midget brother and handling their shit.

All of which you can completely skip and just hunt or just buy stuff or just do the main game.

It's been a long time - if ever -since I've played a game that really let you do whatever the fuck you want.

And that's a good thing.

Nov. 28th, 2018

I Was A Bodyguard For A Fin Domme

One of my friends is a fin domme.

For those of you who don't know what that is it's a woman who gets a guy to pay her money simply by being insulting to him. No touching. No sex. No nudity.

Normally she just does this online but one of her subs - who lives in northern France - was going to be in our area for a day. He promised to buy her 600 euros worth of stuff if she'd meet him in person.

So, she hit me up to be her bodyguard.

Now, I've never been a bodyguard before but figured "fuck it."

I found my summer shades in my old beach bag. I showered but didn't shave. I put on my black leather jacket and practice mean looks in the mirror.

We all agree to meet at this dive bar near my house. The girl and I meet up and wait.

He's like 15 minutes late. When he turns up I stare him down while he apologizes.

The dude is skinny and mousey and clearly nervous.

This makes me stare him down even more.

Now he's from up north and thought it would be warm here. So he didn't put on a coat.

Therefore we sit outside and drink coffee while this guy freezes.

Finally after about an hour she decides she's ok and gives me the signal.

They go off to the mall where he buys her all the stuff she wants.

We make him think we are meeting up when she's done and during the date she says he was "sweet and non invasive."

All in all a pretty good afternoon.

Nov. 1st, 2018

The MISSING: J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories - Review

It's a really nice lesbian/trans game. It's also bloody gruesome.

Two girlfriends go to an island. One disappears. The other goes looking for her and finds out that she can essentially die and keep going. Often she has to cut off a limb and use it to move forward.

Meanwhile you are chased by a demon who is her subconscious. She has to beat what's been holding her back in order to win the game.

This is a puzzle game and some of the puzzles are really hard. (I had to wait a week before the walkthrough came out to beat one puzzle. All the others I was able to figure out on my own eventually.)

The graphics are not great. On the level of a PS2 game. And you can only move left or right. That didn't bother me. Might bother you.

But for a cheap indie game I found it excellent.

Highly recommended.

Oct. 9th, 2018

Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame 2019 Predictions

Well it's a weird year for the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.

Every nominee has the chops to get in. That's never happened before.

So wagering is going to be tough but I'll do it.

Def Leppard - One armed drummer counts in their favor. But they are considered too Gen X for the older voters and not Gen X enough for the younger voters. Not getting in.

Devo - A lock. They are exactly what Grohl and his contingent want in the hall.

Janet Jackson - I th ink she'll get in this time. But it's 50/50. Lot of racists and sexists in the hall.

John Prine - The one 100% total lock. He's old. He survived cancer and he's great.


Kraftwerk. No way.

LL Cool J. If he gets in Janet doesn't' get in. If Janet get s in he doesn't get in. 50/50.

MC5- No.

Radiohead - Will get in because they like to have one popular band every year.

Rage Against the Machine - Deserve to get in but will not.

Roxy Music - Another year when there is less competition.

Stevie Nicks - 80/20. Really helped by Tom Petty dying.

The Cure - Yeah. Total lock.

Todd Rundgren - Nope.

Rufus & Chaka Kahn - Nope.

The Zombies - Will get in but with some type of special award.

Oct. 7th, 2018

A Star Is Born - Review

A Star Is Born is a really mixed bag.

First off - and I haven't like him since Alias - Bradely Cooper is amazing in the role. You can see him as being just talented enough for a woman to try to save and not strong enough for him to let her.

Now. Lady Ga Ga. Wonderful in the first third of the movie. It was really great to see her as a normal person and not someone in a meat dress or whatever. But there is no chemistry at all on her end. SWSNBN thinks it's because in real life she knows Bradely is gay and can't see him as a realistic romantic partner. Whatever the reason she's just like "eh, he gets drunk" and you never ever see her have an expression of passion for him.

Also they introduce her as a woman who can sing with the Eddie Vedder type rockers and write songs like them, but then the movie turns her into a pop star with dancers and shit and essentially makes her Lady Ga Ga. That's a huge mistake. She should have stayed with what she spends the first third of the movie doing and ended up doing the rock thing better than Bradely Cooper.

Finally in the other versions of the film the suicide/not suicide thing is ambiguous. Here it's a clear suicide that he's somehow pushed into my her manager. And that just doesn't work.

But overall? The movie is far better than I expected. I just wish the entire film had been as good as the start.

Oct. 2nd, 2018

Uncharted 3 - Drake's Deception - Review

And now it comes to the end of the Nathan Drake Collection.

This is the best of the bundle. Almost as good as Uncharted 4.

Very good balance of puzzles, climbing and shooting.

The only part I didn't like was the two sections where you have to play while on a hallucinogenic drug. Mostly because they made me a bit sea sick.

Also was sort of disappointed at the last boss fight - it was crazy easy.

But that's not a huge problem.

All in all a stellar game.

Sep. 24th, 2018

Uncharted 2 - Among Thieves

Man Uncharted 2 is much better than Uncharted 1.

No zombies. No insta kill snipers. No fucking barrels in a lake to blow up.

Just climbing, killing soldiers and looking at pretty things.

I love that both women are clearly much smarter than Drake.

Could have done without the Yeti but since I actually didn't have to fight them that was fine.

It's interesting how these games developed.

I think with the first game they just threw every idea they had at it and waited to see what would stick. Some worked out well and some were shitty.

In this second iteration they've decided what type of game they want to be and just go after it hard.

Five out of five stars.

Onward to Uncharted 3

Sep. 16th, 2018

Uncharted 1 - Drake's Fortune - Review

I loved Uncharted 4 and I loved the sequel to it.

So when Sony announced they were going to have the first three Uncharted games as a bundle called The Nathan Drake Collection at a discounted price - 30 euros for all three games - I had to get it.

Spent the last three weeks playing Uncharted 1 - Drake's Fortune.

My thoughts.

1. Wow for an old game this is beautiful.

2. The puzzles toward the start of the game are beautiful.

3. So is climbing and jumping.

4. At the start of the game there is a really good balance between puzzles, jumping/climbing and combat.

5. But man does that fall apart towards the end of the game. I made it through 20 of 22 levels and just gave up. Because the game had become "Move from point A to point B and shoot people." That's not why I play an Uncharted game. If I want that I'll play Wolfenstein.

6. Also what the fuck with giving us zombies at the end? Did they not know where this entire story was going?

7. Other than that great fun. I bailed that late into it because I googled and it was just going to be more and more shooting. But for the first 16 levels or so It's great. And it gave me three weeks of fun.

Overall rating - 4 out of 5 stars.

Now off to Uncharted 2

Sep. 11th, 2018

A Day At The Hospital

So on Sunday I rub my eyes and see double for a few minutes. Wash my eye out and see everything fine. But Monday morning go to my actual doctor for like a rinse for my eye.

Instead he tells me it's all probably fine and I should go right away to the hospital and get a MRI just to be sure.

"Don't worry," he said. "It will only take a half hour."

Holy Jesus God was he wrong.

Over the next 14 hours I was kept in a place at the hospital without food or water (both of which can interfere with their tests.)

Thankfully even though I've been vaping I bought a pack of cigarettes (part of deal with doctor to get me to go) because fuck if there was anything else to do.

Anyway the pattern went like this.

Got in. Seen immediately.

They did tests.

An hour and a half or two hours goes by.

They come out and do more tests.

None of these are the MRI I was sent for.

The third test I thought was a MRI but apparently was an actual brain scan.

Anyway these were entirely student doctors.

After about 10 hours (and who knows how many tests. Eight? Nine? Lord knows) I finally get a real doctor.

Who says:

"You should get a MRI."

I'm like "Dude that's what I came for but actually I'm fucking ghosting on you guys at this point."

He talks me into it.

Another couple hours go bye.

Finally get it.

Another hour goes bye.

I get a different doctor.

I'm like "hey what happened to my original doctor?"

She's like "his shift was over."

I'm like "OK Fine. Am I dying?"

She's like "No. We are 95% sure you are fine. Aren't you happy you got the MRI?"

I'm like "Yeah, but I"m not happy about the bazzilion other tests you gave me. And can I please get this needle that you seriously have used like eight times to drip weird fluid in me out of my arm?"

She's like "I'll have someone get that out of you right away."

I'm like "I'd really appreciate that since I've been here for 14 hours now."

Anyway like a half hours goes by and nobody turns up to take it out.

So I decided to take the initiative and gently pull it out myself.

This causes a geyser of blood to spill all across the waiting room and anyone within five feet of me.

Withing two seconds they are out bandaging me up and telling me I can leave.

Sep. 3rd, 2018

Challenger To President Trump Emerges

(CNN) - Dr. Harleen Quinzell has announced that she will be challenging President Donald J. Trump for the Republican Presidential nomination in 2020.

Speaking to a crowd in Iowa, the respected psychiatrist announced that "My love of the land is pure. My dedication to corn and all things that grow is eternal. Long live Iowa and long live my reign as President."

The announcement, while early and unexpected, may rock the GOP establishment.

"I'm a long time friend of Dr. Quinzell," said GOP Senator Orin Hatch. "She's smart. She's dedicated. She knows what she's doing. And she's very far out of the establishment. Beyond that she is a saner alternative to President Trump."

Outgoing Speaker Of The House Paul Ryan agreed.

"I know Donald Trump. One thing I can tell you is Dr. Quinzell is no Donald Trump."

Vice President Michael Pence, however, said he was not concerned.

"We have heard many rumors about the sexuality of Miss. Quinzell. That alone will knock her out the race."

President Trump meanwhile tweeted "DR QUINZELL IS A LESBO SLUT. i am the man! BAD WOMAN."

Previous 10

December 2018

S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Tags

Syndicate

RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com