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Mar. 27th, 2018

Book Of Despair - Excerpt

Feel like I might as well post and excerpt from The Book Of Despair just so you'll get a sense of what I'm going at!

If you like it you can sign up at Patreon!

You'll not only get the first nine chapters of The Book Of Despair</a> you'll also get the entire Book Of Doom!

Anyway - here you go!


The Ageless Girl never spent much time wondering, “Is this all there is to life?”

She saw it as endless possibilities. Endless ways to break people. A nihilism she took as her birthright. So angry it went beyond nihilism and into a greater meaning.

The world was wrong. Disappointed girls. But disappointed boys too. Expectations. They can't be met. Nobody was really connecting. She just sped things up. Entering the process. Seeing things for how they really are.

A generation lost in space. Going out. Meeting people. Bad sex. Coming home. Telling yourself it was good sex. Eventually meeting the person you'd have bad sex with for the rest of your life.

But random belonged in there too. The chance to break out. For one great fuck. For a thousand great fucks. Or for no fucks at all. Just rubbing your cock or your clit forever.

She was the agent of that change. Pushing girls to pussy. Pushing guys to either be good or be with other men or by themselves. Pussyfree boys. Cockfree girls. Anything to either push away or extend the malaise.

People had started to give up decades ago. Taking meaning out of sex. Out of relationships. She yearned for the 1940s and '50s, when sex was taboo. Taboo was fun. Gay, straight, lesbian, bi. All sex was forbidden. It was supposed to be. When everything tells you not to do something that's when it gives you real joy.

But now, there was no joy. Despair was the word floating around town and the world. Everyone felt it. Everyone thought they were the only ones who did. So they played like they were happy. Buying shots. Doing lines of coke. Getting themselves to a point where they could fuck. The sounds of fake orgasms everywhere. Grunting boys fucking girls they saw as disposable.

Deep down, the girls believing they may be disposable. Not seeing what lies beyond.

Today, The Ageless Girl sips coffee in a cafe. Watches people walk by. The boys are obvious in who they check out. The girls, more subtle. Most boys wouldn't notice.

Looks of hunger. Of desperation. But it's daytime. Nobody really hunting yet. She'd love to break a boy or take a girl. But the timing isn't right. This is all posturing.

So she sips her coffee and plans.

Something bigger is coming. She feels it. She knows it. It makes her wet.

Jan. 22nd, 2018

Mr. Information - Kids, Shrinks And A Biological Clock - Oh My!

Dear Mr. Information:

If your therapist says your troubled relationship is no good, but you're at the age you want to have children, and you love the person, and they say they will get therapy for their problems (which they agree are narcissism and a very bad temper)... and you think your therapist, who you trust innately, is projecting a bit (she called him revolting.. then apologised)... what do i do? I love him. He wants a future. The same future. We have our kids' names picked out. He's a beautiful uncle to his sister's three kids. But he can be cruel and irresponsible and definitely has some narcissistic personality disorder stuff. He admits it. For background: he's 41. i'm 38. We both take meds - me for depression, him for ADD/depression. And to complicate ... we seem to have OCD (he's diagnosed, i'm not), but his is full on OCD-hoarding, mine is minor OCD scrub and clean for days and don't sleep when i'm anxious.

Do I say "go to therapy, i'll continue with mine, we review in six/twelve months?" or do i give it up?


First off don't have kids now.

Someone with a tempter now will get much more of a temper when a baby is crying at 2 a.m. for the fourth time that night.

"Cruel and irresponsible" is not great baby daddy material at all.

So, whatever you are thinking about doing - put it in the back of your mind for now.

The second issue I see is your shrink. You say you trust her innately - yet she called him revolting. I see two possible things here:

1. Your shrink is right in calling him revolting and you know it but don't want to accept it.

2. Your shrink is bad for you and you are placing your trust in them selectively which is super bad news.

I suspect #1 is correct, but I'm not there so I don't know.

Thirdly, why is he not in therapy right the fuck now? Like he really needs you to tell him to go? You've already sorta told him to go by bringing it up in the first place.

My GF when I was crazy was like "what about therapy." A week later I was there because I valued the relationship and knew her bringing it up was a warning sign.

Why has he not picked up on this? Is he maybe thinking "If I fuck her enough she'll get pregnant, I'll get to keep her and I won't need to go to therapy ever!"

If that's the case good luck in custody hearings/at the hospital/dealing with CPS in two to three years.

Fourthly, your relationship doesn't sound that great. One crazy person is enough. You don't need to combine two crazies.

What sounds "great" is that he says he wants kids and has picked the kids names out.

That may be blinding you to all the other issues in your relationship.

Again, you know this better than I and with the limited information I have I may be wrong, but you can take or leave it.

Finally... my advice.

Dating and being with a narcissistic asswipe can be great. I'm the last person in the world to say "avoid it."

But having a child with a douchecanoe isn't great at all. It may hurt someone else and will certainly set you up for moral and legal trouble.

So, if he's really your soul mate don't have kids with him. Be your own functional/dysfunctional couple - without kids.

If kids are something you really want you need to either:

1. Find someone else.

2. Wait and see what happens. He may spontaneously go to therapy. In a year or two therapy might have him be a responsible person. Then you can have a kid with him.

But the problem here is you are 38 and the clock is ticking. Having kids with him is something in the far, not near future. Can you wait until you are 41 or 42 and then look at him honestly and if he's not the right one at that point start looking for a new baby daddy?

That's up to you.

Bottom line - three options;

1. Stay with him and don't have kids.

2. Stay with him and hope he changes his mind and you can easily get pregnant in two to three years.

3. Dump the motherfucker.

My opinion is #1 or #3 is the best option.

If he was serious about therapy he'd be there already.
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Jan. 9th, 2018

Book Of Despair Chapter Five Is Up! With A Preview!

It's on Patreon - where you can sign up and see all the chapters!

Figuring you probably want to know what it's about here's a section from Chapter Five!

If you like it go to Patreon and throw me a couple bucks to read more!

"At the Lipstick Lesbian's place. It's just starting to pick up.

Rome Girl is there with The Coven. She didn't clean herself up at all. Cum dripping out of her. Drying on her chest. Sprayed around her thighs.

She hurts. He was so big. He lasted forever. So sub to her. The human dildo. Available to ride all night long. No sleep.

The Bloody Mary's just starting to kick in. Looking at her English Breakfast. Eggs. English bacon. Baked beans. Mushroom. Tomatoes. All covered in brown sauce. Mixing it together. It looks like blood. Another drink and she'd be able to eat it.

The conversation turned to who they'd all fucked that night. Girl gossip with an edge.

They'd all scored of course. Confident women with an agenda could always get dick. It didn't matter your age. It didn't matter what you looked like. Dick was free of charge and everywhere. Floating in the wild.

Not as dangerous as it seemed. Cock could be tamed. Men were weak. Women were strong – most just didn't realize the strength their sex gave them. The Coven knew – and took advantage when they could.

“He was just 20! His body was amazing. We did it five times.”

“Mine had tattoos everywhere. Even around his cock. His load was crazy.”

“He wanted me to piss on him!”

“I haven't let a guy jizz in me in forever.”

Standard operating bullshit. All the details of what they'd done and who they'd done it with. It meant nothing. It meant everything.

Rome Girl remembered when she used to be able to forget things. That time is past. Now she remembers everything. This conversation will be running around her brain for years. All the mundane crap.

It was just cocks in pussy and mouth and ass. But it mattered to them, so she played along.

They'd all been with her guy already, so it was easy. No fuss. No muss. They loved that she'd paid for the room and put him in his place. All slapped hands.

Miss Darling hadn't shown up yet. Neither had The Bicycle Lesbian. Gossip about what they had been up to. As if it mattered. As if they really cared. As if there was some meaning inside all of this.

Another drink came. Half of it in one go. Food moving to her mouth. She thinks of the cocks that were inside the women around her. Gagging. Still, she swallows.

Food in her system.

She's ready for another day."

Jan. 7th, 2018

To Divorce A Dirty Pisshead?

Woman has been married for 10 years and has a three year old child with her dude.

The other night she's peeing and notices something weird near the door.

Looks and it's her husband secretly filming her pee.

He confesses that he has a fetish about it and was too embarrassed to tell her.

Everyone is like "he's an abuser! dump him! Don't let him near your kid!"

Like, the kid thing is bullshit right? I can't think of any connection between a pee fetish and touching a kid.

Plus, "divorce him" seems pretty harsh to me?

But then I think it is a consent violation, so I don't know?

So, I'm crowdsourcing it here.

What do you think?

Divorce Or Not?

No if he promises never to do it again

Dec. 20th, 2017

Life Is Strange Before The Storm Chapter Three - Review

Whoa - that was a long episode and could have easily been two episodes.

But hey lots of content isn't a bad thing.

This is the last episode and finally BAD STUFF happens.

Also GOOD STUFF happens.

It feels much more on the rails than any other Life Is Strange thing. Your choices in the first two chapters generally funnel you through this. And different choices in the first two chapters would certainly given you way different stuff here.

Two things are going on - the relationship between the girls (GOOD STUFF) and Rachel's mom (BAD STUFF.)

Your last choice will come down to how you want to reconcile those two. I'm gonna play it again with a different choice - because I cannot imagine how it would play out.

All in all a decent lesbian love story that lacks the gravitas of the original Life Is Strange. (Like, they built up that wildfire and then did nothing with it?)

Still it ends with love being what matters - not just their love but lots of different little love stories, some sexual, some not.

Bottom line - brave for them to turn their time traveler game into lesbian love drama, because fuck if I know anyone else who has done that to a game.

Dec. 19th, 2017

What I Noticed The Second Time Watching The Last Jedi

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Dec. 14th, 2017

The Book Of Despair - Chapters One And Two Up On Patreon!

And if you sign up you also get the entire Book Of Doom for free!

It's fun! It's easy!

Just go right here!

And if you just want The Book Of Doom (Because who doesn't?) you can get it here!

The Drunk.

Miss Darling

Rome Girl



The Coven

The Lipstick Lesbian

They are all back.

Despair is back in fashion.

The despair of who you slept with.

The despair of who you didn't sleep with.

The despair of the drugs you'd done.

The despair of the drugs you didn't do.

The quiet despair of living.

Despair is fucking cool.

The Last Jedi - Review

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Nov. 23rd, 2017

Thanksgiving Porn

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Oct. 31st, 2017

The Death Of The Cross - Full Book! Now Available In Kindle And Paperback!

The Death Of The Cross is here!

You can buy it for Kindle here.

Or buy it in paperback here.

It's finished. It's done!

It's terrifying!

2024. Christianity is illegal in America.

The Enforcer goes from town to town looking for illegal, hidden churches to burn to the ground.

Christians are hunted down and given a choice between death and re-education at government sponsored camps.

Liberals rule with an iron fist. Any who oppose them are crushed.

The Preacher is one man who stands against The Enforcer and the government he represents. He spreads the word of God through any and every means possible.

The Enforcer wants The Preacher gone.

One day they will meet. Will it be The Death Of The Cross or a chance for good Christian values to stab into the darkness?

Read and find out.

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