Drunken Expat Writer

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Finding out you have a secret blog stalker is usually pretty rad. Finding out it's the President of the United States raises the awesomeness score exponentially. Several months and a year ago, I wrote this post. Just a few days ago, minus the year, our BELOVED LEADER, George W. Bush, sent this proposal to Congress. This could just be an amazing coincidence, considering that George W. Bush routinely gets his policy ideas from God via a monkey on crack, but I prefer to believe that I am just that awesome. As much as I would like to say that I hate being right, being right is pretty cool, so there.

You'd think that with Bush's uncompromising stance on not only the right to life, but the right to life that hasn't even been conceived yet, that he'd have enough kids to form a cult in Texas. You'd think he'd be nailing a hole in Laura's back every chance he got just to not waste a precious drop of seminal fluid or a single unfertilized egg in her body. Maybe he just doesn't like her all that much. Maybe that's why she has to plaster on that extremely forced grin every time she's seen in public with him.

I'm wondering just how far he would like to see the birth control issue pushed. If he's already considering certain forms of contraception as likened to abortion, how long before it's all forms of contraception? Let's follow this slippery slope out to its logical conclusion. Abstinence is the ultimate form of abortion. How long before we start putting women on trial after suffering a miscarriage? Ladies, you'd better enjoy menstruation while it's still legal, before we send you away from the villiage and burn all your clothes and bedding.

Oh, that's absurd and unfair? Well, two can play the slippery slope game, Bill O'Reilly. If gay marriage will certainly lead to legal public bestiality, then a ban on birth control can lead to prohibited menstruation and sinful abstinence. It's apparent that Bush not only has a disdain for abortion but a contempt for any form of family planning at all. Since 2001, the Bush has denied all funding for family planning to the United Nations Population Fund. Domestically, the United States has seen more babies born last year than any other year in the nation's history. Apparently whatever Bush thinks these family planning organizations are doing to keep people from having too many children in the face of a total economic breakdown, it's not working. One of the conditions of the Bush family's dream of a New World Order is a ninety percent reduction of the world's population, so I really don't see what difference it makes to start now or later, just to preserve George W. Bush's Messianic delusions of morality.

This 60 photo set looks really cool in fast slideshow mode.

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Hey everyone, I just joined the community and thought I'd see if anyone had any advice about moving to/ living in Israel. I will be leaving on August 20th for one year, under circumstances where I haven't had much time to plan in advance. I currently work as a pre-school teacher, but I don't speak Hebrew (I can read it, but have no idea what it means...useful, right?) so I worried about what kind of job I'll be able to find as an english speaker there. I would be willing to work as a nanny as well, or pretty much any job where I'd make enough to pay rent each month.

I will be living in Jerusalem, and staying with my boyfriend who attends Hebrew Union College there for the first two weeks after m arrival. Any/all tips about finding jobs, roommates or friends would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!!

so first of all, i thought i had to work at 6:45 but i guess i work at 11. whoops. secondly, i thought i was being overdramatic with my previous post, but it turns out that when i got home, i noticed some GLOWING EMBERS in the barkdust outside my building. someone had dropped a cigarette and there was a really slow burn going on in the barkdust. AWESOMEEEEEEE. i dumped a few buckets of water on it but then i started freaking out thinking, "oh shit, i probably shouldn't be dealing with this by myself. what if i splash around the embers and catch something on fire!?" but it didn't seem to warrant fire dept. attention, so i woke up jason. sorry honey! he's dumping water on it now. i'm going to write a nasty note and put it on the laundry room door, too. :/ fuck my neighbors, who throws a cigarette into barkdust?

last night jason and i went out to dinner a laurelwood, one of portland's "family friendly" brew pubs. it was great! they have a little play area for the kids that is easy to see from any of the tables, so we just drank beers and took turns checking on eli while he played before the food came. the food was... pub food. so i ate this massive pork loin chop and some really good mashed potatoes that i praised as being "the ultimate Salt & Brown®" (once jason and i went out for dinner and we were discussing the type of food we ate as kids, and we basically described the american kid's diet as Salt & Brown. those were the cherished flavors of our childhood. salisbury steak, brown gravy, etc. SALT AND BROWN. now we think it would be funny to open a junk food restaurant called salt & brown.)

so it's 5:33 and i'm wide awake. i had a beer at dinner and then another one (whyyyy) when i got home, and i FELL ASLEEP AT 8 O'CLOCK. i woke up at 4:30, unsuccessfully tried to get back to sleep until 5, when i got up and sat on the couch for all of 5 minutes before eli woke up whimpering "mommaaaa." i attempted for about half an hour to placate him but he just sat there with his eyes wide open and i got annoyed and brought him in to jason.

all my windows are open and i can smell FIRE- like someone is burning something in their fireplace, RIGHT NEXT TO MY HOUSE. i can also hear sirens. uh....? i hope my apartment building isn't on fire. also i hope a meth house didn't blow up. i think i might close my windows, haha.

What a farce this years Tour De France is.

Three riders have been caught with a new version of the drug EPO in their system. They had assumed that this version was undetectable and they would get away with it, of course the drug checkers knew this and thankfully caught them.

It's almost got to the point now that if a rider does something special on any stage then people are going to be pointing the finger at them for taking some sort of performance enhancing drug, whether they have or not. But as recent events show it seems fair to question there performance.

Mark Cavendish has been brilliant so far winning 4 stages up to now, hopefully this won't mess up his Olympic Games where he is in the British Team. He's now at the point in the race where the mountains are ahead and he's not the best in them so it is worth the wasted energy just to get to Paris and say he's completed the tour? Some years this would be understandable but this year he has to look at the bigger picture of the Olympics and how he has to perform for his fellow team mates. Of course it's important to mention that Mark is completely clean and his team even go to the lengths of having an independent tester who publishes the results on the teams' website.

It's a shame but as long as the drug users have ways of improving their performance, and can stay one step ahead of the authorities then this is always going to happen.

Makes you wonder how long the tour can continue with these problems because most people don't see them going away unfortunately.

Tonight was the last Billy Joel show at Shea. This concert was added after the demand from the first show, the one that I went to, the one that was supposed to be the "last show", proved to be more than expected

In honor of it being the last show, BJ had more guests:

Paul McCartney
Roger Daltrey
Garth Brooks
Tony Bennett
Steven Tyler

I got John Mayer at my show. John Mayer. Of the riveting, timeless hit "Your Body Is Your Wonderland" fame. Yeah, that John Mayer.


I should have had Paul!!!!

• 09:02 Blarg. Sometimes nostalgia makes me feel pukey. #

Brain flutters via LoudTwitter

I don't know Cy Rawls personally, but it seems that we do know a lot of the same folks. And like most everyone who has ever been to a rock show in the Triangle, I'm hoping he's going to be okay.

Mr. Rawls is at Duke this week being treated for a brain tumor. The same folks who worked on that Senator from up North are helping out Cy Rawls.

Anyway, if you want to know everything that's happening, including fundraising efforts, please check out cyrawls.blogspot.com.

I just wanted to say that I hope he's going to pull through and spread the word even further.

was back at work today and quite enjoyed it. I ended up running PT for my section and made a guy puke from running (well, dry heaves really) so apparently I'm not as out of shape as I thought I was. Then we spent the morning emptying and reloading a connex (shipping container) that was hot and sweaty work and I enjoyed it.

Got a message from my sister to call immediately, turns out my mother is haveing (another) nervous breakdown and may be temp. committed for making suicidal statements. I think she really needs to get out the house with my sister. And due to making a long trip to make it to a funeral, my sister can't pain any of her bills and has asked for a couple thousand dollars to get her up to speed. Wonderful.

We're buying a car. A '94 Chevy Astro van, Shitting gas mileage, but a REALLY nice van and it's mainly for me to ride to work and back so only a few miles a day. And it's really cheap.

But I'm so stressing out over my family. We're trying to get things arranged so my mom can move down here, I thin it'll do her a LOT of good to be on her own, able to control her environment to a certain extent. And I don't think for a second that my mother is suicidal, she gets hysterical and runs off with the mouth, but she's obvisously not doing well but won't tell me that anything's wrong (protecting her baby boy and all) which makes it harder to help out. Plus I really dont' like my sister asking for so much money, if I fork it over I think she'll just ask for more. But she really is in a bad situation right now, even if it is mostly their own fault (they're not good with money). Damn. And I had planned on getting my bike fixed and getting some new furniture.

Stuff between me and Tanya are doing a lot better. I'm still not entirely sure why I want out of this marriage so bad. Yeah, it sucks at times and I've done a LOT of bitching about her on here, but I don't spend any time talking about what goes right either. I'm not any less confused, but a lot happier.

But the confusion itself is such a drain on my life. I don't want to put my family through that, but I want a differnt life/family at the same time.

These are very not done-- the last four of the series about Pakistan.

Done for now.


urdu lessons #2, mixed media on canvas, 24 x 18"

I'll get some better shots of this up eventually.

Scientist: You Can't Get Drunk on Beer

Naked, unruly man causes jet to land.

As if that story isn't funny enough, a friend of a friend who I've met a couple times plays on the New England Revolution. The next time I run into him I'll have to ask if he restrained the naked man.

Your two links for the day:

* synecdochic writes: Why Monetizing Social Media Through Advertising Is Doomed To Failure (part one)

* bbbsg sent me this: ever seen a creepier tower?  Seriously, keep scrolling down.

* phinnia linked to odd-looking marine animals.  The text is okay, but the pictures are amazing.

* IN CONCLUSION, mactavish sends this on:

Never go to Trader Joe's when you haven't eaten all day.

...

Yeah.