bart_calendar (bart_calendar) wrote,
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The Guardians Full Of Lose Sex Column

Whoa!

Here's a sex advice column from The Guardian

Deal is a 13 year old kid stole his friend's phone and used it to email sexaully explicit stuff to his teacher. Kid got caught and got an old phone instead of a smart one and isn't allowed on the computer. Kid feels absolutely no remorse. Parent wants to know what to do.

Now, what I'd do is this:

1. Get the kid to a psychologist and make sure he's not he's not a psychopath because sending sex shit to your teacher at that age is seriously fucked up.

2. Talk to him about how women are people to and not to be objectified.

3. Figure out with the kid's mom where his attitude towards women comes from - because it's probably not from a vacuum.

4. Keep him in therapy until you discover the source of the problem.

5. Get him into a different classroom/school and away from the teacher he sexually harassed.

But....no.

The writer - a woman - says "eh no big deal women set themselves up for this."

Really.

"Part of the problem is that we women are complicit. Where once we donned dungarees and burned our bras, today we’re queuing for Victoria’s Secret. If we really have earned the right to choose then what we’ve chosen is to perpetuate the presumption that our appearance matters more than what comes out of our mouths."

WTF? Slut shaming the teacher, I think? Who the letter writer wrote nothing about. And even if she wears Victoria's secret with her boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife, who the fuck cares?

"We’ve made huge advances in terms of our right to work, to study, to make our own choices and generally take control of our lives since the 1970s. But it’s a source of bafflement and frustration that they haven’t come hand in hand with major modifications to a misogynistic culture that preys on the insecurities of women and girls. Instead, we’ve swept boys into its embrace, too, with rising depression and anorexia just a couple of the psychological side effects."

What? Women make boys misogynist? And why are depression and anorexia being brought into this?

"Pornography, liberated to enter our homes and our children’s psyches via the internet, normalises the objectification of women and children. It compounds sexual stereotypes, renders emotional connections obsolete and teaches our children how to perform sex acts, but not about the riches of human relationships. We are all sexist now!"

No we are not.

"Today, those pioneers are often men from organisations such as Good Lad and Great Men. They work in universities and schools, respectively, creating ambassadors and encouraging conversations about masculinity, sexuality and attitudes to the opposite sex. They work on the premise that young boys are as much at sea in the new sexual politics as girls ever were and need basic tools to recognise and articulate their problems.

If you don’t have one of these groups operating in your son’s school, organise an invitation for them or set up something similar."

Wait. You want to bring men's organizations in to mansplain how women feel?

"It’s an ugly sexist world out there that insists on keeping boys and girls in designated boxes. It’s one where boys don’t cry and all girls deep down “want it”! As parents and citizens we need to set about changing this pernicious climate that encourages your 13-year-old to think it’s a gas to send explicit emails to his teacher."

No. You need to find out why the kid thinks it's OK.

And finally:

"you mention he lives with his mother. I hope it’s not a sign you’re offloading responsibility. You need to work together to make clear that just because he’s surrounded by poisonous sexist rubbish, he doesn’t have to roll around in the mire."

What? The dude is so worried he's writing an advice column for help. He's not offloading anything!
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