bart_calendar (bart_calendar ) wrote,

Deep Thoughts

Jezebel writes a reasonable article about how to tell people in your life you don't want children.

Here is the most promoted comment in response to the article:

"I don't mean to be condescening. But when I was in my 20s, it was all the rage to say you didn't want kids. Or marriage. Or a house in the suburbs.

And now I'm 41 and just about everyone ended up with at least one kid.

I think your opinions and your life choices should be respected. If you say you don't want kids, fine, great, end of conversation. But know that a lot of people older than you once said the same and then, something changed. Maybe the biological urge hit (and, believe me, it can hit hard) or maybe you met someone really wonderful and he really wanted a family and he convinced you or maybe your sister had a baby and wow, you realized you wanted one, too or maybe your mom died unexpectedly and you just realized that you wanted a baby because you wanted a family. Or, like me, maybe you'll have drunk sex with an ex on your sister's birthday and find yourself, who would have thought, thrilled to be accidentally pregnant. Who knows.

Just know that life changes. You are going to change. Maybe you'll always not want children and of course that's super and great. Not having children is, obviously, a valid choice. But, you very likely will change your mind. So, don't go making big pronouncements and upsetting your grandmother on Christmas."

Now, let's just imagine that instead of this being about being child_free, it was a piece on how to tell people in your life that you are gay or lesbian, do you think that Jezebel would tolerate a comment saying "this is a valid choice. But, you very likely will change your mind. So, don't go making big pronouncements and upsetting your grandmother on Christmas."

How quickly would they be called out as homophobic and ignorant and how quickly would the comment be deleted by the mods?

Or imagine a man had made the same comment and switched it around to "maybe you'll be like me and get your ex girlfriend drunk on her sister's birthday and she'll be thrilled she's pregnant."

How quickly would that man be labeled a rapist and how quickly would his comment get deleted?
Tags: lots and lots of comments, lots of comments
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