bart_calendar (bart_calendar) wrote,

The State Of The Electorate

Republicans: A party run by a leadership that at this point hates many of their members. Once the party of Lincoln it's now the party that hates anyone who is not white, male and either rich and nihilist or poor and Christian. Has a voting base that makes their decisions based either on racial bullshit or insane conspiracy theories.

Democrats: Whiny losers who are somewhat pissed off that Obama didn't turn out to be a shiny flying unicorn. Do not realize that their expectation that electing a black man would change things more than a white man or woman is just as racist as the republican expectation that electing a black man would lead to Black Panther rallies in the Situation Room. Shocked that a dude who ran as a right of center democrat acted like a right of center democrat once in office. The party is run mostly by straight white men (and one straight black man) but needs to rely on blacks, gays, Mexicans, lesbians and transgendered dwarfs to get elected.

Libertarians: People clinging to the one remaining political system invented at the turn of the 20th Century that has yet to be tried out in public. Fail to realize that their system has all the dehumanizing flaws of communism and overestimates human nature just as much as communism. Don't realize that telling people you are cool with their homes burning down is not going to get them tons of votes.

Tea Party Voters: Racist scumbags who managed to get into the Republican Party which now desperately wants to kick them out.

Undecided Voters: People who live in tents in the woods without television, Internet, radio or phones. More likely than not part of a doomsday cult or some sort of involved sex cult of personality. These are the people most likely to decide the election in between feeding their fellow members cyanide laced Kool-Aid or participating in orgies with the Grand Shaman.
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