I Finally Understand The GOP
It's also clear that large numbers of the GOP are not only not anti-sex or pro-heteronormality. Hell, lots of the them want open marriages, have tons of gay sex, visit escorts, have mistresses, wrote lesbian erotica before they married a future GOP vice president, have gay and lesbian children they love, etc...
So, why, why, why are they so against gay marriage?
Then, it hit me. Years ago they made a bet with the gays about who could destroy the sanctity of marriage first. And, now, despite how hard they've tried to destroy the sanctity of marriage some of them are still worried they'll lose the bet.
Therefore they are doing everything in their power to stack the odds in their favor. They figure that by fighting against gay marriage while at the same time fucking everything that moves and engaging in all sorts of weird affairs, Appalachian Trail adventures, airport bathroom gay hook ups, etc.. their odds will improve.