bart_calendar (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} bart_calendar) wrote,@ 2009-11-08 10:19:00 |
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Saturday
Met up at 10:30 a.m. for what should have been a three hour drive to Barcelona. That's what it took the last time we went there. Of course last time we went we printed out directions from Google Maps. This time Hippy IT Boy had an Iphone clone with GPS and was counting on that giving us directions.
What he didn't realize is that the second we left France the phone/GPS would shut down because we were no longer on his system and we would be on our own. This meant that it took us an extra two hours to find the center of town.
Once we got here and checked in he was like "All I want is to have a cup of coffee and be able to smoke inside." So, we wandered over to Travel Bar and he had a java and I had a pint. It was so fucking nice to be able to smoke without walking outside. When he was done with his cup of Joe he wanted a pint, so I bought two rounds of pints. At that point he wanted to buy me a pint back, but had forgotten to take cash out and they told him they would only take a card for four pints. This meant we had another two pints each.
It was roughly 6 p.m. now and we were fairly buzzed so we went to the Hard Rock Cafe and did a tour of their appetizer menu. We had everything from chicken wings to spring rolls to potato skins. Then we hit the main courses.
Over the course of two hours we had so much food that Caligula would have been embarrassed.
Then we went back to Travel Bar with the idea of hitting the Argentinian Steak House later. Of course we figured out that this would have been a bad idea because there was no way we could have enjoyed additional food.
Drank there until about 11:30 at which point a weird UK dude started giving us shit and we didn't want to deal with shit and knew the brothel would open in a half an hour. So we went to a bar next door to the brothel for another round of drinks.
This bar had the most disgusting bathroom I've ever seen in my life. There was actual shit in the hand washing sinks. Like, whoa! But, they gave us cheap Absolute vodka tonics, so whatevs.
Then hit the brothel and shit the girls were hotter than I've ever seen them at that place. I had a great time watching the strippers and the lesbian sex show.
About a half an hour in Hippy IT Boy found one of the prettiest brunettes I've ever seen in my life (like she could have been a professional model easily) and contracted for her services. She was 130 euros an hour.
The problem was he was so drunk at this point that it took him nearly two hours to get off with her (meaning he had to pay 260 euros to bang her.) Meanwhile I was stuck in the general area of the brothel and bought a beer (you get a couple free with your entrance fee) only to discover that each beer after the free ones was 15 bucks.
I drank that one, thinking Hippy IT Boy would be back soon (a normal sober man would have come in roughly 35 seconds after seeing that girl naked.) When it started becoming clear that he was going to be a while I got stumped.
I was not willing to buy another 15 buck beer, and I was also not into buying pussy, since my girlfriend will be back Tuesday. But if you are sitting in a brothel and not buying pussy or beer the girls come up to you and are confused and worried that they are fucking up.
So, for lack of a better explanation (because "I'm cheap and want to fuck my girlfriend on Tuesday" is not, really what you want to say in a brothel) I told all the girls that I was gay and trying to help out my straight friend.
Holy mother of fuck. Telling hookers this will cause them to be seriously comfortable with you, rub their boobs against you, tell you stories about weird customers and pretty much be intimate with you in every way that doesn't involve fucking you. It was fucking awesome!
Finally, Hippy IT Boy finished and then bought us a round of beers. We ended up walking back to the hotel around 5 a.m. He was, at the time, hell bent on going back to the brothel tonight to "prove" that he can cum quickly for a hot girl. I was like "Dude, if you do that you are totally buying me like five beers before you go to the bangathon, because I want to avoid the awkwardness."
Not that avoiding awkward shit is possible at this point, since all the girls will be wondering why a dude who told them he is gay is staring at their pussies and assholes.
All in a all, as fun a day as possible.
Met up at 10:30 a.m. for what should have been a three hour drive to Barcelona. That's what it took the last time we went there. Of course last time we went we printed out directions from Google Maps. This time Hippy IT Boy had an Iphone clone with GPS and was counting on that giving us directions.
What he didn't realize is that the second we left France the phone/GPS would shut down because we were no longer on his system and we would be on our own. This meant that it took us an extra two hours to find the center of town.
Once we got here and checked in he was like "All I want is to have a cup of coffee and be able to smoke inside." So, we wandered over to Travel Bar and he had a java and I had a pint. It was so fucking nice to be able to smoke without walking outside. When he was done with his cup of Joe he wanted a pint, so I bought two rounds of pints. At that point he wanted to buy me a pint back, but had forgotten to take cash out and they told him they would only take a card for four pints. This meant we had another two pints each.
It was roughly 6 p.m. now and we were fairly buzzed so we went to the Hard Rock Cafe and did a tour of their appetizer menu. We had everything from chicken wings to spring rolls to potato skins. Then we hit the main courses.
Over the course of two hours we had so much food that Caligula would have been embarrassed.
Then we went back to Travel Bar with the idea of hitting the Argentinian Steak House later. Of course we figured out that this would have been a bad idea because there was no way we could have enjoyed additional food.
Drank there until about 11:30 at which point a weird UK dude started giving us shit and we didn't want to deal with shit and knew the brothel would open in a half an hour. So we went to a bar next door to the brothel for another round of drinks.
This bar had the most disgusting bathroom I've ever seen in my life. There was actual shit in the hand washing sinks. Like, whoa! But, they gave us cheap Absolute vodka tonics, so whatevs.
Then hit the brothel and shit the girls were hotter than I've ever seen them at that place. I had a great time watching the strippers and the lesbian sex show.
About a half an hour in Hippy IT Boy found one of the prettiest brunettes I've ever seen in my life (like she could have been a professional model easily) and contracted for her services. She was 130 euros an hour.
The problem was he was so drunk at this point that it took him nearly two hours to get off with her (meaning he had to pay 260 euros to bang her.) Meanwhile I was stuck in the general area of the brothel and bought a beer (you get a couple free with your entrance fee) only to discover that each beer after the free ones was 15 bucks.
I drank that one, thinking Hippy IT Boy would be back soon (a normal sober man would have come in roughly 35 seconds after seeing that girl naked.) When it started becoming clear that he was going to be a while I got stumped.
I was not willing to buy another 15 buck beer, and I was also not into buying pussy, since my girlfriend will be back Tuesday. But if you are sitting in a brothel and not buying pussy or beer the girls come up to you and are confused and worried that they are fucking up.
So, for lack of a better explanation (because "I'm cheap and want to fuck my girlfriend on Tuesday" is not, really what you want to say in a brothel) I told all the girls that I was gay and trying to help out my straight friend.
Holy mother of fuck. Telling hookers this will cause them to be seriously comfortable with you, rub their boobs against you, tell you stories about weird customers and pretty much be intimate with you in every way that doesn't involve fucking you. It was fucking awesome!
Finally, Hippy IT Boy finished and then bought us a round of beers. We ended up walking back to the hotel around 5 a.m. He was, at the time, hell bent on going back to the brothel tonight to "prove" that he can cum quickly for a hot girl. I was like "Dude, if you do that you are totally buying me like five beers before you go to the bangathon, because I want to avoid the awkwardness."
Not that avoiding awkward shit is possible at this point, since all the girls will be wondering why a dude who told them he is gay is staring at their pussies and assholes.
All in a all, as fun a day as possible.
