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Jan. 18th, 2017

My God. Stop Being Assholes. Let The Trump People Be Assholes

The people doing the women's march against Trump Friday have now pulled their support for sex workers.

And... they've uninvited anyone who is pro-life.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Seriously, if you don't think that sex workers deserve rights and protections, fuck you.

You know who a lot of sex workers are? Men and women who are being fucked by the economy so getting fucked is the only way they can pay their fucking bills.

And as the economy becomes worse, more and more men and women will be pushed into sex work. Your friends, neighbors, girlfriends, boyfriends and sons and daughters may very well become sex workers in the near future, if they aren't already.

Seriously, I personally know 17 sex workers - and most of their friends have no clue that's how they are making money. They think they are doing "bottle service" at nightclubs or got "arts funding" or whatever the fuck they think their friends will believe.

And pro-life people? Sure I disagree with them, but there are a billion other things other than abortion laws that are fucked up about Trump. Like, you know, him being pro-rape and sexual assault in general.

It's like the women's rights groups that hate transwomen. Or the gay rights groups that hate bi dudes.

Let's not fracture ourselves over some of our differences - that's how you get people like Trump in office in the first place.

Get your fucking shit together and work together.

That's the only fucking way we can win.

Jan. 17th, 2017

The Most Entitled Customers Suck Entry I've Ever Seen

This book store employee is horrified that customers ask her for recommendations of books and genres they don't know about.

"I only read certain genres. I like Harry Potter, Stephen King, Star Wars, Star Trek and Full Metal Alchemist. Asking me to recommend something for you, will lead you to those books. If you were hoping I read the latest Romance or fiction book by Danielle Steel or someone similar is like asking a wall what it thinks about Basketball."

Like, maybe it's your job to learn about other genres because asking book store employees for recommendations is one of the main reasons people go to book stores!

What a fucking tool.

Lohan, American Idiots And Fashion Nazis

This is how insanely paranoid about Islam people in the west have become.

This morning I noticed that Lohan was suddenly trending on Facebook. Given her history, my first thought was that she was dead.

But, that wasn't the case. Instead people were horrified and going batshit because they thought she'd converted to Islam.

What actually happened is that she currently lives in Dubai. A fan gave her a headscarf. She thought the headscarf was pretty and decided to wear it. She also made an Instagram post with an Arabic phrase in it out of respect for her new home.

That caused a massive freakout.

Think about that for a minute. It's a fucking scarf. A piece of clothing. In fact, a very practical piece of clothing that can help prevent heatstroke when you are living in a hot climate.

But the simple act of wearing it caused people to go nuts.

Meanwhile in the past she's dressed as a nun, done photoshoots covered in blood and all sorts of shit and nobody has cared at all.

Yet, she puts this one piece of cloth on her head and, essentially, says "hi" to the people of her country of residence and it starts a shit storm.

Think for a minute at just how paranoid that is.

Think long and hard.

Jan. 15th, 2017

Initial Thoughts On Using Patreon

As many of you know I'm trying to use Patreon to crowdfund the writing of The Book Of Doom.

And it's going well so far! I have a dozen patrons and am halfway done with writing the first chapter - which is further along than I thought I'd be four days into this experiment.

Anyway, a couple other writers have asked me what Patreon is like so I figure I'll bang out my initial perceptions.

1. The user interface for the creators is very non intuitive. You really have to poke around and experiment for it to get it to do what you want.

2. That said from the patron side of things I'm told the user interface is very easy to use. And to be honest I'd rather a system that is hard for me to set up but easy for people to donate than vice versa.

3. It seems the way to get a lot of donations is to be featured on their featured projects page. To do that you have to jump through a lot of hoops. The first of those hoops is bugging your social media about your project for seven days in a row. I don't like spamming people so this is sort of awkward, but whatever.

4. I really don't get why they push you so hard to blog about your project on their site.

5. They really need a one time donation button. (You can do a one time donation but you'll have to jump through hoops.)

6. They don't make it easy to offer the different reward programs. My final book on Amazon will be text with pictures to help illustrate the texts. So the second tier of my offer is the chapters as they are written with the photos. But if I sumbit work to Patreon it goes out to all sponsors, not just Level Two sponsors. This means I'll have to bug second level patrons for their email addresses to send the photos to, which will be a pain for both me and them.

Jan. 14th, 2017

Where Do You Jack Or Jill Off On The Internet?

PornHub's list of their most common searches in 2016 made me wonder if that is really representative or if not because people prefer other sites.

So, I have a simple questions for you:

What Site Do You Use Most Often For Masturbation?

Red Tube
A Slash Site
I Don't Use Any Site For Masturbation

Jan. 13th, 2017

#ItAintRape - The Worst Trending Hashtag I've Seen Yet

Jesus was poking around Facebook and Twitter to see what the most popular hastags are at the moment and was shocked by one that's been popular since Monday - #ItAintRape.

Here's a sample of what these douchecanoes are posting:

Luckily it looks like today people are trying to shut it down by posting stuff like If you post #itaintrape you are an asshole - thus making it harder for the nimrods to find their shitty jokes.

I think I'll join them is fucking those people over.

Protest Trump - Go Anal Or Oral Only

Let's face it - the main goal of the GOP and Trump is to get people to accidentally have babies whether they want to or not because:

1. It makes people willing to work shitty jobs for shitty pay simply to keep the baby fed.

2. It reduces the number of women in the work force.

3. It makes it harder for men to quit shitty jobs or protest for a decent wage because they don't have the freedom to quit because of parental obligations.

4. It generates more people willing to do low paying jobs 15 to 18 years from now.

5. It generates more people who will eventually be in for-profit prisons.

This is the basis for abstinence only education they know doesn't work, making it hard to get contraception and attacking abortion.

So... fight back in the easiest way you can.

Ladies, keep dick out of your vagina! Dudes, keep your dicks out of vaginas.

Oral and anal sex will give you great orgasms and not leave you changing diapers and praying for an extra shift at Wal-Mart.

There's even a Anal only community you can join!

Sexy Jason Voorhees

Jan. 12th, 2017

The Book Of Doom - Yes, I'm One Of "Those People" On Patreon

I've had a novel stuck in my head for years but never had the time or motivation to do anything about it. But now it needs to come out and to motivate myself I've created The Book Of Doom Patreon Page.

Here's the general details:

"She's not German, she's from Seattle."

About 15 years ago I dreamed I was reading a novel. That was the first line. Over the next few weeks I created a story and an outline.

Then, because the realities of a divorce and the time it takes to find and work on freelance writing jobs, it gathered dust in the back of my mind. Now I'm determined to make it a reality.

THE BOOK OF DOOM is alcoholic noir taken from 16 years of making love to the beach and the bottle in Montpellier, France – a place I can only describe in the words James Ellroy once wrote about the City of Angels: "My city. My wonder."

Drinking, drugging, fucking, and running from the riot police are how you get by in this wretched hive of scum and villainy.

But we have nice beaches and clean up pretty when family comes to visit.

A new student comes to town. Through the haze of the expat welcome wagon she's seen by many of the town's regulars.

By morning she's dead and memories are hazy. Did someone they know kill her? Did they kill her? Do they care either way?

As people slowly begin to turn against each other, the pieces of the puzzle start forming a picture that no one wants to see.

Along the way you'll meet the usual suspects of the expat underworld:

The Drunk - An American tap dancing on the cliff of a nervous breakdown, held together only by the fact that nobody else would care for his cat, Selina, if he took the Big Trip.

Miss Darling - Former brothel and bar manager known for losing one shoe and her bra on a good night.

Rome Girl - Former child star, now an aging wino doing social media for washed-out porn stars trying to go straight.

The Iceman - Only in town every month or two. Splashes money around and everyone drinks.

Disaster - Rakish Scotsman with charm, wit and a penchant for sexual violence.

The Lipstick Lesbian - Proprietor of the Sunday brunch spot where all the weekly gossip is shared.

Lurch - Bar owner with a past that nobody dares ask about lest the drinks stop flowing.

The Dead Girl - A redhead sent to France by rich parents after the wrong boy caused a family scandal.

Chuck Tingle Already Has A Book About Trump's Urine Nation

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January 2017




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