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May. 1st, 2016

Ash For President

Given all other options his campaign will totally get my vote.


ashrushmore

Apr. 29th, 2016

Tom Hiddleston's Dick

Just because I know there are women on my friend's list who will be interested.

Obviously behind a cut. Obviously NSFW

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Apr. 28th, 2016

The Current Most Popular Star Wars Slash Fictions

ships

Captain America - Civil War - Review

Spider Man and Black Panther are awesome. Seeing everyone kick everyon'es ass is awesome. They even make Ant Man awesome (something his stand alone film failed to do.)

By a level of magnitude the best Marvel movie so far.

The rest of what I have to say is behind a cut, because of spoilers.

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Apr. 26th, 2016

Hollow City By Ransom Riggs - Review

When I finished Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children, my main worry was that he wouldn't be able to sustain it beyond one book. Luickly he not only did that, Hollow City is even better for a lot of reasons.

The first book had to spend a lot of time on world building. Now in Book Two he's done with that and it's all action and/or romance all the time. The momentum is incredible.

It's also much darker.  The main plot is the group has to make their way from a small island in Wales to London in roughly three days. This is not easy in the middle of World War II when you look like runaway children and are being chased by canibalistic demons who have infiltrated the British Army and can use all of their resources - from zepelins to military convoys - to search for you. Simply trying to make a three mile journey from the island to the mainland in small row boats, in the dark, while battleships and submarines are hunting them is terrifying.

Even London itself is no prize - since, you know, it's constantly being bombed by the Germans.

Along the way the Susan/Hermione character continues to develop. And even once the male narrator finally finds his powers, all of the people still let her lead and decide what to do because they respect (as does the narrator) that she's 1,000 times more competent to do so. This is a nice change from most stories of this type.

We get even more Narnia and Harry Potter dissing including, but not limited to:

1. A witch who in the middle of winter turns giants into stone in order to stop them from protecting a land of talking animals.

2. Death in a London tube station.

3. The group arriving in London on exactly the same day the Narnia children were leaving London in The LIon, The Witch and the Wardrobe.

4. The group dismissing people whose talent is talking to snakes as "marginal" and "not worth bothering with."

5. The best Marauder's Map ever.

We also start to see the main themes of the series develop more which seem to be:

1.  Heaven would become awfully boring and awfully lonely very, very quickly.

2. Old age is in many ways scarier than death.

3. Women who are smart human flamethrowers are fucking cool.

4. There is very little difference between dreams and nightmares.

5. Young love is very painful, but also very, very important.

One more book to go. Hope he keeps it up.

Apr. 23rd, 2016

Let's Save Keith And Ozzy! You Can Help!

It's clear the Elder Gods hate us. But maybe we can make them happy if we sacrifice some people to their horrible lairs.

Which brings us to this!

How do we save Keith And Ozzy?


Poll #2042966 Save Keith And Ozzy!

Who Do We Sacrifice To The Elder Gods To Save Keith And Ozzy?

Sting
4(6.5%)
Bono
31(50.0%)
Clapton
3(4.8%)
Lars
10(16.1%)
Sir Paul
5(8.1%)
That fucker who was in the Eagles
9(14.5%)

Apr. 20th, 2016

Thoughts On Why Gen X May Be So Weird About Trigger Warnings

I'll admit that when I first heard of trigger warnings my initial reaction was that of rage. Now, a few years later I'm generally in favor of them (with a few minor exceptions) but I've been thinking for a while about why they made me and so many other people of my generation furious at first.

It's because Gen X rebellion was all about triggering. We wanted to fucking hurt the Baby Boomers and tell them to fuck off in the loudest way possible.

So we had to hit them where it hurts. Their whole bullshit about "all you need is love" and the path not taken and crap were celebrated in the media that they mostly controlled. So the way to fuck with them was to create our own media that loudly told them to fuck off.

They put out music about the summer of love?

Fine, we'll have Glen Danzig sing "I got something to say. I raped your mother today" or Jello Biafra scream "Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the poor!"

You want to publish "The Joy Of Sex."

Fine - Here's "American Psycho."

"Jesus Christ Superstar?"

How about Marilyn Mason wearing a shirt that read "Kill Your Parents" while ripping up a Bible on stage.

And it worked. They went batshit. Hell they tried to throw us in jail for that shit.

At the time it was fine. There were only two generations - ours and theirs. And our generation got the joke - and their generation didn't, which made it wonderful and beautiful.

And they couldn't stop us. The best they managed to do was put warning labels on records and video games - and we screamed bloody murder about that (and then created even more triggering stuff for music and games to fuck with them even more.)

But a funny thing happened along the way - a new generation came along.

That generation had never fucked with us - we had nothing against them.

The problem is that suddenly our ironic intentional triggering wasn't just hitting Baby Boomer fuckwits. It was hitting them too.

And, that's super unfair. While Baby Boomers deserve every single bit of triggering shit John Lydon, Brett Easton Ellis and Douglas Copeland can throw at them, the new generation doesn't.

Beyond that they can't possibly have any sense of the context of why we had to trigger these fuckers in the first place. Nor should they.

But, it's super hard to spend 30 years intentionally triggering people and then suddenly pull back. At first it feels like giving in. It would be like if we didn't fight record warning labels (even though we mostly used them as a guide for what to buy.)

So, yeah, rage was our  natural reaction to trigger warnings.

That said, now that we are aware that a new generation exists and that we are causing them to suffer along with Baby Boomer fucktards we might as well give them fair warning. It's generally the right thing to do.

Plus, face it, they've accomplished more in terms of civil rights in the past four years than we did with all our screaming and yelling.

They deserve a bit of respect.

Apr. 17th, 2016

Axl Rose With Angus Young Playing "Whole Lotta Rosie" At Coachella Last Night

Apr. 14th, 2016

Do You Stand Up When You Wipe Your Ass?

Yesterday on Facebook a discussion broke out when someone said that they stand up to wipe their ass after they take a shit.

Other people were like "WTF? Why would you do that?"

Then other people were like "How can you wipe your ass while you are still seated?

I had never pondered this facet of humanity before, so now I ask you your experiences.

Poll #2042273 Butt Wipe

Do You Stand Up Or Remain Seated When You Wipe Your Ass?

Stay seated
70(64.2%)
Stand up
32(29.4%)
Something else which you must explain in comments
7(6.4%)

Apr. 12th, 2016

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

God, I wish someone  had told me about this book when it first came out.  It's magic and starlight and unicorns and rainbows.

But what it is more than anything else is Narnia if Susan was allowed to enjoy lipstick and make out with boys and be a  human flamethrower that can fucking roast monsters to death in a matter of seconds.

And, holy shit,that is a good idea.

The plot is best described as "Feminist Jewish Narnia With A Bit Of Hogworts Thrown In."

A kid is growing up in Florida. His grandfather (who, um, bares a narrative resemblence to a certain old man in Narnia tales) tells him stories about having had to fight and escape from monsters in Poland in the late 30s and going to a magical land.

His sons assume the monsters were Nazis and the magical land was Wales.

They are incorrect which is something the boy fairly quickly figures out after dealing with a clothes locker in an old home.

All of this is told though a mixture of text and old photos.

Will there be battles? What do you think?

The whimsy is strong in this one and beautiful. The world building is amazing. The characters are great.

And, most importantly, we get the version of Susan we've always wanted in a girl who is a wonderfully romantic superheroine.

I cannot say enough how much I love this book.

What I will say is that when I was reading it and saw this image I cried in a good way.

This_is_why

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