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Nov. 23rd, 2014

Montpellier News

The local used CD/DVD store is offering a free copy of Metallica's Lulu if you buy their Bill Cosby DVD.

Nov. 22nd, 2014

Enter PS4

A couple of days ago my Xbox 360 finally kicked the bucket. Since Rome Girl was going to buy me a Play Station 4 for Christmas anyway she told me to simply get one now, because game playing relaxes me and keeps me generally sane. So, for the past three days I've been fooling around with it. Here's my initial impressions.

Wow, the new controler is cool. It feels much like older ones so there is not much of a learning curve, but there is also a touch pad which allows you to do some interesting things. Plus, it doesn't eat batteries like the XBox 360 controller - you just charge it by plugging it into the  system itself.

The device itself is much, much quiter than an Xbox. You can barely hear it while it's working. That's a good thing. It is also the reason for the one downside of the machine - it's not actually reading your disk while it's playing. Instead the first time you stick the disk in it copies the entire disk to the hard drive. This can take a long time. Grand Theft Auto 5 took nearly an  hour to install, which is not what you want to have happen when you dying to play a new game.

The upshot of that is that once the game has been copied to your system you don't have to deal with nearly any loading time between scenes. It's just able to preload from the hard drive.

Now to the games itself. I have three.

1. Infamous - Second Son. This one has a lot of potential but I haven't seen it realized yet. You become a super hero and work to gain more powers. Plus you can choose to be good or evil. The first 40 minutes of game play, however, involve you jumping around a fish canning factory and then jumping around a bridge. Hopefully I'll eventually be able to use my super powers to kick some ass, but that has yet to happen.

2. The Last Of Us. Quite honestly the best video game I've ever played. It looks amazing. The game play is rationally explained. The story is amazing and doing stuff in the game is fun. It's going to be a challenge for me because stealth is a key skill and I've never played a stealth game before, but that's fine. The game is worth it. I've put about four or five hours of time into playing it and have yet to be bored at all.

3. Grand Theft Auto 5. I've only played a little bit of this. So far it seems like Saint's Row 4 without a sense of humor. That said, killing cops and stealing cars is fun, so I think I'll enjoy it. I just hope it doesn't turn out to be really sexist.

Nov. 19th, 2014

Prometheus 2 Concept Art

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The Dumbest Man In New York

Ever wonder who the dumbest man in New York is? If so, we have a winner.

Here's the deal. Back in 1997 they wanted to build a high rise next to his grandfather's four bedroom apartment in the Upper East Side. And, they didn't want people going to the zoning board and complaining. So they  offered to make his rent only $100 a month. For those of you  who don't know New York, the average rent for a  four bedroom in that neighborhood is $12,000 a month.

The dude's grandfather dies and the dude moves in and keeps paying $100 a month. But he decides that the highrise blocks the natural light in two of his eight rooms. So he sues asking for the city to bulldoze the high rise and the giant grocery store next door.

The judge sanely rules that since the building passed the zoning board 17 years ago it would be insane to demolish it. And... also rules that by complaining the guy violated his grandfather's agreement with the landlord - who can now charge him market rent.

Oops!

Nov. 18th, 2014

Hail Satan!

A school district wanted to let a Christian group give out coloring books, but a court told them they could only do so if they allowed other religions to do so as well. A Satanist group has taken them up on their offer.

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Nov. 17th, 2014

Yesterday

Took Rome Girl to see Interstellar.

Then, found out she'd never seen Showgirls - so we watched that. She called it the "Superbowl Of Bad Movies."

Then, I put on Gone Girl.  She was entranced by it. But at that point I think I could have put on Plan Nine From Outer Space and it would have seemed like a brilliant piece of cinema.

Oh LJ

Yes, if you have less than 5 posts on your blog and come to my blog and leave a comment that simply says "Please, shut up" with no context and no previous history of making constructive comments I will tell you to fuck off and die in as creative a way as possible.

And if you act offended and accuse me of treating you like a troll - that's because having less than five blog entries and going to someone's blog to make a rude comment that does not relate to the post  iteslf means you are a troll.

Nov. 16th, 2014

Interstellar

Anyone who talked shit about Prometheus and praises this film can fuck off and die. It has many, many more logical flaws, a worse script and doesn't even give us a fucking Xenomorph at the end.

Nothing in this film makes any sense at all.

Here is an accurate spoiler-free description of the plot - Rust Cole discovers that time is a flat circle.

Seriously.

At least a dozen times I had to hold myself back from laughing out loud in the theater. At one moment near the end I actually did, because I could not longer restrain myself. Rome Girl had a different reaction - she said it made her incredibly angry.

The film is an insult to the audidence. It is an insult to the actors involved. It is an insult to itself. You think The Dark Knight Rises has plot holes in it - they are nothing compared to this. You think the crew of the Prometheus was dumb - they were geniuses compared to this crew - who make the wrong decisions every chance they get.

If you have three hours to kill and this film interests you I have a suggestion - download both Insidious movies and watch them back to back. I shit you not - they have the same premise but actually make it work, because they applied a basic level of internal logic to the films.

Nov. 15th, 2014

Which Console To Get

Based on the fact that I now have to insert games roughly 20 times before they will run I suspect my six year old XBox 360 is dying.

This means it's time for a Playstation 4 or XBox One. But I have no clue at all which to get - and I trust you guys more than I trust gamer sites.

I think my selection will come down to which one is more likely to have games I'll like to play. Here's a rundown of what I like and don't like.

Like:

All Final Fantasy games except the most recent.

Saints Row IV

Saints Row The Third

Mortal Kombat (I suck at it but it's funny.)

Tiger Woods Golf 12

All Guitar Hero/Rock Band games

The Lego Star Wars games.

Dislike

All first person shooters

Tiger Woods Golf 8 - without a caddy to pick my clubs for me I just can't.

Portal and other games that move that way and make me nautious.

Skyrim. I love games of this type if they are based on grinding. Grinding relaxes me. Over three days playing this thing I got to attack like five wolves and one ice orc. That is not grinding. And walking up 5,000 steps just to get the ability to push people was not worth it.

So, based on this - which system is right for me? Which games would you suggest?

Thanks!

Your Partner's Porn Has Nothing To Do With You

I'm addicted enough to advice collums to know that one of the most common questions is "I found porn on my boyfriend's/husband's computer and the women/men look nothing like me/do things that I don't do! Help!"

There are a bunch of different answers that pop up - but the only accurate one is "of course the people don't look like you and don't do the things you do - that's the point of porn."

The type of sex people want to watch and fantasize generally has nothing to do with the type of sex people have in real life. In 99 percent of the cases the people that people fap to are not people they'd really want to have sex with. (I say 99 percent, because, yeah, people probably really do want to fuck James Deen and Stoya - but that's because they act like humans and not porn stars.)

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People go to porn to transgress. They do it to safely push boundaries that they  don't want to push in reality. And they like fake looking people, because it makes it easier for them to distance themselves. It makes it clear that it's fantasy. (If a woman looked like the average porn star in real life most guys would either be terrified to talk to them or dump them in two weeks for being high maintainence.)

Transgression is the key here. Most dudes who watch cheating wife porn would be horrified if you cheated on them. Dudes who watch tentacle porn would be freaked out if they came home to you with an octopus in bed. This is generally true with nearly every type of porn.

So, what do people who look at porn really want? They want you. That's why they are your husband or boyfriend. You are their wonderful reality. What kind of sex do they want? The type of sex they have with you.

The bottom line is that their taste in porn isn't about you at all.  It's just a safe way to escape the real world and feel naughty for a little while.

Don't let it get you down.

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