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Mar. 5th, 2017


Contains spoilers.

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Feb. 22nd, 2017

Worse Than Nickelback

Starting a new Tumblr called Worse Than Nickelback.

Suggestions welcome.

Feb. 14th, 2017

Valentine's Day Porn

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Feb. 12th, 2017

What Lady Ga Ga Will Sing With Metallica Tonight

Every Social Media Thread On Heterosexual Online Dating Ever

Original Post: "I just moved to a new city/just broke up with my bf/have been single for a while/something similar. I'm thinking about trying online dating. Is is worth it?"


"OMG! No! All you'll get is dick pics! Just try to find a hobby and you'll meet a guy!"

"Do it! I was on OCupid for one week and met the guy who is now my husband!"

"YMMV but when I tried online dating I ended up fucking a pedophile ax murderer. Just something to think about."

"Only try online dating if you hate yourself because the guys there suck."

"I used to think they suck but then I tried (brand new, super obscure dating site) and met great guys! Now way am I a shill for this site!"

"I haven't had any problems on dating sites. Nobody has sent me a dick pic and all the guys have been super nice."

"Why don't you try just meeting more people in real life?"

"Online dating is the worst."

"Just be selective and you'll be fine."

"Online dating made me decide to be a lesbian."

"Go for it! You have nothing to lose!"

"Men suck. Just stop trying to date."

"Every guy I've met online was married."

"Have you asked your friends to introduce you to guys?"

"I'm a guy and I'm single. What's your email?"

"Everyone I know met their boyfriend through Tindr."

"Just focus on yourself and you'll meet guys without having to try online dating."

"Check your privilege. Not all of us can afford Internet or cell phones."

"Go for it! The perfect guy is out there!"

"I'm making $438 a day from home. Click here to find out how."

Feb. 9th, 2017

Skip The Phone Calls - Just Protest

Back when I was a journalist if I got two letters telling me an article I'd written sucked I knew I was in trouble.

The reason being that the percentage of people willing to read a story, realize it was shit, actually pick up a pen, write something on paper, find a stamp and then go to the post office and put it in the mail was seriously low.

Therefore if about of a million or so people reading it two complained my editor was going to be super pissed at me because I must have fucked up big time.

Recently, however, I've talked to current journalists and that no longer applies. Any article no matter how good or bad gets dozens if not hundreds of emails, tweets, comments, etc... saying it's a piece of shit.

Therefore a couple complaints mean nothing anymore. It's the new normal.

I bring this up because of the current fad to call up your representatives all the time about Trump bullshit.

The reasoning is that former congressional workers have said that when they worked there if they got nine calls on an issue it was a lot. Therefore if a thousand people call it's going to freak out that representative out so much they will take action.

Now, that might have worked for like a week, But... congressional staffers are not idiots. Now that it's on a regular basis it won't matter to them. They'll see that as the new normal and it won't have anywhere near the impact that you are expecting it to.

If fact a month or two from now it probably won't even disrupt the office, because there are a ton of people willing to volunteer for representatives to get it on their resume, so they can just put 100 new unpaid interns out there to pick up the phone and pretend like they give a shit.

But you know what does work and doesn't stop working - getting in the streets and acting like you might get violent.

Already with the peaceful protests we've had now GOP representatives are fearing for their lives.

And that's just the start. I know it may not feel like protests are as effective as calling someone up - and that's because they haven't been so recently.

That, however, is only because they've been sporadic. You can ignore one Million Man March. you can write off the Occupy people as students doing what students have always done.

But sustained protest is very different. (Do some Googling about Poland and the USSR to see what I mean.)

It terrifies politicians. Not only because it sucks to see tons of people telling you you are an asshole, but because protests, given enough time and sustained long enough will always lead to an event that will devastate them.

All it takes is one freaked out National Guard member or one hungover cop with an itchy trigger finger and you get Kent State all over again. Only this time Kent State will be caught on video by several hundred people and circulated immediately.

And guess what, the career of any politician even closely associated with the issue, or sending the cops or the National Guard in when that rich white person gets beaten or shot is over with.

That's a real fear and it's the type of fear the politicians act on.

So please less "here's Rep. Bob Exxon's phone number" and more stuff that scares the shit out of the white power structure.

Trump Fetish Site For Gay Bottoms - Is This The The "Easy D" He's Looking For?

Trump tweeted that he's interested in "easy D."

This lead me to search around to see if anyone would be up for it.

Because this is the Internet, of course I found a site for gay bottoms who have a fetish for Trump/Trump supporters. (Link is very, very NSFW.)

I think we should start a campaign to tweet the site at him and see what he thinks.

Feb. 8th, 2017

What Will Lady Ga Ga Sing With Metallica?

James' voice is fucked to the point where they are cancelling shows. So, they announced Lady Ga Ga will be singing for them at the Grammys.

What in the name of god will they play?

What Should Ga Ga Sing With Metallica?

Nothing Else Matters
Creeping Death
Wherever I May Roam
Enter Sandman
Born This Way
Bad Romance
For Whom The Bell Tolls
Something Else You Will Say In Comments

Feb. 3rd, 2017

Fanboy Squee!

Going to see these guys tonight.

Feb. 1st, 2017

When You Piss Off A Freelance Writer

For three days in a row I've gotten an invitation to bid from an UpWork person who states they won't give deposits or put money in escrow and are unwilling to pay more than three cents a word. And said that if they won't pay at all if they don't get complete satisfaction and " please don't ask for money :)"

First two times I blocked them.

Third time I gave them this response:

"Thank you for your invitation to bid and for making my day.

Your satire of a bad job posting is so perfect at first I thought it was real.

You really capture the tone of someone who is trying to get work for free. Your inclusion of indicating you are willing to pay rates that are below even the minimum wage in the poorest third world countries is also hilarious. I mean why, exactly do people deserve to be able to eat rice for dinner and put a roof over their heads? This current generation is just so demanding.

The comment about microphone issues is really awesome! I mean as if writers should have the luxury of electricity! As I was attempting to skewer rats and pigeons for dinner tonight my two year old daughter and I laughed and laughed. It was nice for her to have that feeling to distract her from the other children who can afford medicine.

We also found the racism in your post to be spot on! It's amazing that some people actually put comments like that in their job postings, isn't it?

Anyway, sorry to take up too much of your time, but I have to go now and ask The Riverboss if I can afford clean water today or if I need to settle for "The Brown."

Greetings from District 12!


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March 2017




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