Drunken Expat Writer

By far the most upsetting episode of network television I've ever seen.

I actually had to turn it off and just check the Internet a couple times because I wasn't sure if I could finish the episode.

It's weird. The same incident made me both hate Pete and love Joan at the same time.

The flashback/meta sequence was just pure emotional torture.

Also, beyond the horror of the Joan/Pete storyline, the complete and total and final emasculation of Don was just horrific.

"Pick a number," indeed.

The best review of a Guns N Roses show I've ever read.

1. So, they are letting Tyrion keep his nose. I was wondering how they were going to handle that.

2. Any episode without Theon or Bran is a good episode.

3. Wildfire rocks!

4. Anyone have any idea why they've changed The Hound's story to be so different from cannon? I mean, I like what they've done with him, but it is weird.

5. Go Team Lannister!

6. I cannot fucking wait to see the two key events left for the last episode. Seriously, like the next episode is going to be the best episode ever. (Until the last episode of Season Three which if it ends halfway through Book 3 like they say will be the best episode in the entire series.)

So when I called up my brother to wish him Happy Graduation I had completley spaced that it was my mom's birthday so didn't say "Happy Birthday" until she brought it up.

She wasn't bitchy about it but I do feel bad.

I've just had a lot of work on my plate for the past few days and did not know it was May 26th yesterday at all.

Part of me thinks I shouldn't feel that guilty because the only reason I even knew to call my brother for graduation was that my dad sent me an email yesterday asking me to - and I kind of feel like he could have said "by the way, asshole, also wish your mom happy birthday."

Called home tonight to say congrats to my brother for graduating Magna Cum Laude in law school.

As always my dad and I ended up talking about books we are reading.

Me: Yeah, I bought The Land Of The Painted Caves yesterday.

Dad: Burn it!

Me: What?

Dad: You will one day regret every minute of your life you spent reading that book. Burn it now.

Me: So, it's not good.

Dad: If you are smart enough to like American Psycho you'll hate yourself for finishing this book.

Me: Did you finish it?

Dad: Yes. But I'm a literature professor and I need to know just how bad things can get.

Me: But maybe it will help me know how not to write.

Dad: Just fucking burn it.

Went to the English Language Bookshop yesterday to get a new book (The Land of Painted Caves. Yes, I know Auel stopped being a good writer 15 years ago but I want to know how the fucking series ends so don't judge.)

Anyway, they were doing a language exchange thing (French people try to speak English to English speakers who attempt to respond in French.)

The bookshop has two floors and the top floor is much smaller than the bottom floor and was fairly crowded.

So, there was this French guy doing the language exchange with an American girl. She complained about how crowded it was.

He then tried to suggest that they go to the downstairs area, but had an English Language Fail.

What did he say, you ask?

"Do you want to go down on me?"

She had a horrified expression on her face until she figured out what happened and said "I think you meant 'Do you want to go down WITH me?"

Ok.

What's the most offensive joke you know? It can be misogynist, racist, homophobic, heterophobic, man hating, violent or whatever.

We are all a little racist and suspect of other genders and sexualities anyway so don't worry about being politically correct.

Just try to offend.

I'll go first:

"Why are there so many battered women in the world?

Because they won't fucking listen."

Your turn.

In the past 35 minutes the euro has dropped from almost $1.28 to $1.25.

Anyone know what just happened? I'm not seeing any breaking news on CNN.

Violet and I were arguing this morning about what DC Character they are going to have come out as gay.

My first thought was Ozymandias, but she's right that that wouldn't get anywhere near the publicity they are looking for. (Though he is obviously gay.)

So, I think it has to be Bat Man. He's a perpetual bachelor who runs around in leather for Christ sakes.

Violet thinks they can't do Bat Man because then parents groups would go batshit thinking that he was banging underage Robin (which he probably is.)

She thinks it has to be Aquaman, but my argument is:

1. He's a fish. Is he involved in sexual reproduction at all?

2. Who would give a fuck about Aquaman?

We'll see, but I'm telling you Bruce Wayne is all about Lady Ga Ga and Celine Dion.