Drunken Expat Writer

Former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara who brought us the Vietnam War has died.

Weinberger is already gone, so I guess Rummy is all we have left of the Big Three warmongers.

CNN is comparing the Michael Jackson funeral to the assassination of JFK and the Apollo Moon Landing.

I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Quick!

Without clicking, this link can you guess who any of these three dorky looking teenagers grew up to become?

Don't cheat!

Max Hardcore, who you may remember got sentenced to a long time in jail last year on obscenity charges for making videos of naked people puking and peeing on each other issued a Fourth of July statement from jail yesterday.

The highlight:

"Every Independence Day, we pause to reflect upon the great sacrifices made by the brave men and women who laid down their lives when they rebelled against the English to create the United States of America. They put their lives on the line not simply for the pieces of paper called the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, but upon the principles which they represented with their words. Paramount among these are the freedom to live one's life in accordance with his or her own beliefs, and the expectation of privacy from unwarranted government intrusion into their lives and property.

"At a time when America holds more of its citizens behind bars than any other country in the world, yours truly included, the concept of personal freedom seems to have been forgotten by those in power — and by many of the people they govern. In our blind ambition to band together and battle the common enemy of terrorism, many have stood idle as our government has steadily stripped away the very rights which make our country great, and our people secure in their homes. In a perversion of the English language that is a true obscenity, the Bush administration called their initiative the PATRIOT Act, attempting to cloak an evil program under the guise of civic responsibility. This plot was so diabolical and effective, that even our own representatives in Congress were fooled into acquiescence."

"As I write these words, I am staring into the abyss of many more months in the bowels of the federal prison system, simply for making movies that twelve ignorant citizens allowed themselves to be convinced should not be seen, enjoyed, hated or even considered by anyone else in America. Censorship is insidious, my friends, and almost always starts with attacks against the least desirable material. But it rarely ends there. Just ask anybody from China, whose every keystroke will soon be monitored by Big Brother to make sure they toe the party line and submit to the will of their rulers."

"Now go out and enjoy the fireworks with the family this 4th of July. But don't forget to tell them the real reason we celebrate the day. It could be your last chance to do that for a while — just like me."

Toymaker gets court to shut down Lego related porn sites.

There goes my plans to make millions with a Ken and Barbie and GI Joe action figure cuckold porn site. But that's probably a good thing, because how would I have ever proved that the dolls were at least 18 years old.

I really have no desire to be a father, but if I ever had sex with any of the female members of the Spears or Palin families and they didn't get pregnant, I'd feel like I failed as a man.

Rome Girl finally heard the notorious upstairs neighbor girl today.

In the late morning we could hear her fucking her boyfriend. Then the boyfriend left and now we are hearing her with the other dude.

This led to this IM exchange:

Rome Girl (5:28:03 PM): DON'T SAY ANYTHING OUT LOUD but yeah, she's different this time around. I think he's fucking her in the ass. In any case, I think he's rougher with her. AND SHE LIKES IT
BCalendar (5:28:36 PM): I think that she fakes it with the bf and then this guy comes over and gives her anal and she gets off on it
Rome Girl (5:28:42 PM): yeah
Rome Girl (5:28:47 PM): she's not all girly panting
Rome Girl (5:28:50 PM): she's grunting

An interesting debate has broken out in France. A little while ago President Sarkozy addressed the French parliament and said that he wants to make wearing burquas illegal in France. This actually has a fair chance of becoming law because the ban would be ridiculously politically popular all across France.

That said, a fierce debate among French intellectuals has started. And, the thing is, while I find the burqua to be an abomination I can see the logic on both sides.

The people who think that the burqua should not be banned argue that a woman should have the right to choose to wear anything she likes, even if it makes other people uncomfortable. And, they point out that no one is suggesting that catholic nuns change the way they dress when out in public. Finally they say that to ban the buqua will deny them their right to religious expression and that the law is really nothing but Muslim trashing.

The people who think the burqua should be banned call "bullshit" on this. They point out that the burqua is not really a Muslim tradition - it's a Bedouin tradition and unrelated to religion. They say that the burqua itself serves to "erase" these women from society and social discourse. They go on to say that in general women wear the burqua not out of choice but because their fathers, brothers and extended family members pressure them to wear them. Some have argued that the pressure to wear a burqua is no different than the pressure for female circumcision - and note that that practice has been banned in France for a long time. Finally, they argue that the goal of immigration to a new country is to evolve and become part of that country's community - while the burqua itself sets these women apart from the French community as a whole.

What do you think?

Mexican midget professional wrestlers killed by hookers during sex party.

Nikki Sixx

I wish I could post a link to this story, but I read it in the International Herald Tribune and their website now sucks balls because it's all linked in with the NYT and Boston Globe sites, but whatever.

The details of the story are this. Apparently in the game World of Warcraft it is ridiculously hard to get certain types of cool weapons. So hard in fact that people will pay real money to other people who have gotten the weapons if they will give them to them. This has created a weird underground market in World of Warcraft weapons, spells and related shit.

So much so that in China some people are paying parents to take their kids out of school and then forcing them to play World of Warcraft 12 hours a day in what are described as "video game sweatshops" so that they can earn the weapons which can then be sold to rich gamers in western nations.

The Herald Tribune is horrified at this abuse of children.

But, think about it. Imagine if when you were, say, 12 years old, your parents came up to you and said "Sorry son, but times are tight. You can't go to school anymore. Instead we need you to play video games all day to support the family."

Would you have felt exploited, or would you have thought it was Christmas in July?

Blond girl with nice areola.

Lizzie Borden and Rob Black sentenced to a year and a day in prison for creating horror porn.

Slaughter the weak.

You know if this involved any other celebrity I'd say the woman was just a nut job. But, it involves Michael Jackson, so I'm not willing to dismiss it out of hand:

A London woman filed a 93-page handwritten document in Los Angeles Superior Court claiming she was Jackson's secret wife and the mother of all three of his children.

In asking for all of Jackson's assets, the woman also added: "I have up to 30 children. My Father (Satan the Devil) Khalid Lucifer as he is known, gave them to us."

I'm pretty sure Anne Frank meant her diary to be private.

Elance now has a new program where they are trying to encourage people to put "Elance Badges" on their blogs and such. Apparently if anyone actually signs up after clicking on one of our badges we might get $50 or something.

I find all this stuff silly, but what the fuck, there may be someone out there who wants to start freelancing and might sign up.

A member of the national guard who has been serving in Iraq has been asked to leave the military because he said he was gay.

Boy, is that going to open up a big can of worms. Because, hey, dudes who signed up for military service just to pay for college have spent the last six years being sent on two, three, four or more tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan.

This puts them away from their families for years and sticks them in a zone where random assholes are trying to shoot them or blow them up all the fucking time.

So, fuck it. Would you rather be sent to a fucking desert country where people are trying to kill you or would you rather pretend to be gay?

I mean what they fuck are they going to do to you if after you get back you continue to bang the opposite sex?

I predict thousands and thousands of manly straight boys are about to tell the army about their new found love of cock - which will mysteriously go away the first time they visit Hooters after their discharge.

Crack Whore Confessions 4

It really resolved the cliffhangers and unexplored emotionally territory we were left with at the end of Crack Whore Confessions 3. I like how they are slowly building the overall story arch so that we understand the subtle hints and unanswered questions that have been building up since the original Crack Whore Confessions.

It's rare that a series can keep up the suspense and sense of grand storytelling through the third sequel. What I love is that while it allows the viewer the satisfaction of finally understanding these characters lives, it still leaves us wanting more as we await the majesty of Crack Whore Confessions 5.